dating someone because youre lonely

Elaine Yang, 37 years old


About me:
Feeling lonely is a totally natural place to be in— in fact, I don't know anyone who hasn't found themselves struggling with feeling lonely at one time or another. But it's actually a good thing to struggle with. If you can stay single and deal with the loneliness, it's a huge learning opportunity. But far too many people jump into the first relationship they can find as soon as they feel lonely — and it's often not the right realtionship. It's really easy to do, so don't beat yourself up about it. But if you find yourself in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone , it's time to rethink it. So how do you know if you're in a relationship just because you're lonely? Here are the signs to look for.

When I was with him my world felt better with him, at least for a portion of our relationship. He started becoming controlling, or maybe I just finally realized he was controlling and as much as it hurt me I had to let go. After the tears dating someone because youre lonely slowed down I started finding myself going for guys I had no business going for. I was convinced breaking up with him was a mistake, but he moved on so quickly while I was still trying to find the shattered pieces of my heart.

Your confidence takes a nose dive. Going through a cycle of terrible guys just to fill a void is only going to shatter your self-worth in the process. Ultimately, the more you allow these guys into your world, the more you start believing that all guys are disappointments, the lower you set your standards, and the less you value yourself.
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More about dating someone because youre lonely:
New relationships bring up a lot of questions: Find out for sure how you feel about this person by closely examining the relationship and filling your time with other activities besides the relationship. Finally, learn how to dodge a rebound relationship.. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 12 references. Featured Articles Maintaining Relationships Loneliness. Learn more. Learn more Method 1.

I should point out that the ones who are actually enjoying their lives and a relationship are the ones that made a positive decision to spend some time on their own, break old patterns, rebuild their lives, and redefine themselves in a positive, loving context. In fact, I know people who feel just as alone in a room full of people, nevermind one on one with a man. If you still end up feeling lonely and riddled with insecurity in spite of the fact that you have a man in your life, why do you still feel that having a man, having a relationship, having dalliances, having sex, having attention from these people, having an illusion, having more issues to deal with that result from being involved with these men, is the answer to your problems? If this is what worked and was the cure for your loneliness, companionship, and everything else that is going on in your life, why are so many women who are dating or in a relationship, miserable? I could sit here and talk till I am blue in the face and give you umpteen reasons why issues will continue to arise and you will continue to be unhappy, but you and only you make your choices about where you want to go and what you want to do.

Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members, show more. Harm to minors, violence or threats, harassment or privacy invasion, impersonation or misrepresentation, fraud or phishing, show more. Yahoo Answers. Do you date because you are lonely? In fact, the first time i saw her, i cringed and wanted to bolt. Update 2: Update 3: